its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
