Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
