Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
