i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And then my night got REAL pukey
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
