Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize