when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
