And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
