And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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