i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
