So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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