Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
