He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
