You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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