I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
