I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
