im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Drunk is a universal language darling
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
