wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
