the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
