ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
