Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize