i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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