Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
