At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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