another moral hangover. fuck.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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