I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We are two peas in an std pod
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
