I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
