Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
