fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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