I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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