I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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