Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
