Duck Duck Cougar?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
