I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
