what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
