He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
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