i just google imaged poop.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
