guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
