were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
