no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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