I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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