Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
