if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
