Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
