last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
