so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
