Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
