so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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