Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
