While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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