Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
