Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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