There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
