Non-Jews are for practice
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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