I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
