Will you blow on my dice?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
