It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
