I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
