I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
