I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
