Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
