he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize