So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize